The Journey From Mother To Friend

Daughter's Empty Room, (c) Likeitiz

Daughter’s Empty Room, (c) Likeitiz

We are a family that likes to travel. We journey to spend time with people we love. We go to places we’ve never been or even return to old haunts with new eyes. But we ourselves, within us, know that we journey through many of life’s events.

One such ride is that of becoming a mother. I look back to those months of perpetual nausea and heaviness during my pregnancy. Then the kicking within my belly that would wake me at night. Before we knew it, she was out into the world, yelling her lungs out to declare her arrival. It was bliss.

We went through the growing up years, juggling schedules, school work, sports, this and that commitment. I often catch myself now saying to younger parents that these years go quickly, almost with the blink of an eye. Once she had the car keys, once she was her self-assured but not-quite-sure self, our role became that of consultant.

Nowadays, I’m still a consultant of sorts. More sounding board, really. More friend, perhaps. I am very comfortable in my empty-nest state. I’ve talked about this before and when I alerted her about posting it then, she said she was touched!

Daughter's Empty Room, photo credit (c) Likeitiz

Daughter’s Empty Room, photo credit (c) Likeitiz

I often find myself going to her room. In there are still her stuff: Books, awards, plaques, trophies, knickknacks, lots of pictures and other memorabilia. In her bathroom are still her things, her clothes in the dressing room neatly folded and piled, her dresses hanging in rows. Her room doubles now mostly as a second guest room these days. She does come to stay during the holidays.

Is her room really the last bastion of hanging on to her? Am I hoping secretly she might come back and inhabit this space again? Will changing this room into something completely different be an act of betrayal, perhaps to a memory, not necessarily to a person? I go in there for the memories, more than anything. It shall stay that way for now.

This post was written in response to Michelle W.’s Daily Prompt: Journey. Please go and see what others may have done with the prompt.

Other thoughts on the Empty Nest:


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29 Responses to The Journey From Mother To Friend

  1. Pingback: You never know how strong you are… | Ireland, Multiple Sclerosis and Me

  2. Motherhood is a beautiful, priceless journey. So much love, laughter, of memories that makes one’s heart fly like it can do anything. It can be sad too when one by one each grown child have to say goodbye to make a journey of their own. My mom, looks so sad when I had to leave but I think it’s even worse when 3 of her kids went to another country.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Truly a beautiful piece. Beautiful room as well. And tidy. My children’s rooms are all cluttered and messy. But I am appreciating the messy rooms (and of course their occupants) for the moment, for as you said these years go so quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lidipiri says:

    What a beautiful post. Reflections and doubts. Lovely.


  5. Kaye says:

    Teary-eyed. The room can be emptied but they will always hold their place in our heart. Nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Journey: Stairway to Heaven | Khana's Web

  7. I love this post. my kids rooms too look as though they’ll be home any minute. and i suppose sometimes we do think they’ll be home again, not in a conscious way but because for so long our worlds revolved around hands on motherhood. I like it the way it is as well. I like sitting there looking at books and momentos and the memories it brings. as long as i’m not sitting there every day, as long as i am encouraging them to go where their hearts take them no matter how far away it may be, i know i’m not living in the past, just enjoying what it was. I do think though when the time comes and it’s all packed up and gone, it will be another adjustment along the way.


  8. Malou says:

    Made me teary-eyed reading this post because I am a mom at the very height of the journey. Thank you for the reminder that I have to savor every minute of the juggling years because before I know it, she’ll be all grown up. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  9. auntyuta says:

    We have only a small house, two bedrooms because the third bedroom is our computer room and the smallest room. Easy to heat to keep warm in winter! Last year when our daughter died, our son came from Melbourne, nearly 1000km away, the youngest daughter who lives 100 km away, stayed with her partner in one of the bedrooms, the son slept in the living-room; the second daughter lives close by and came to see us often to help with funeral arrangements.
    It was a sad occasion for all of us to be together, but the togetherness helped a lot. It’s great when the children can come visiting and staying at our place. But usually Peter and I are all by ourselves now. Peter often talks on skype to his sister in Berlin, I sometimes talk on skype to my brother in Germany. We stay in touch with all our children, but not on a daily basis. And it can sometimes be weeks before we see any of them. On special occasions, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Mothers/Fathers Day, most of the family is usually together and I think this is great. The family gatherings include grandchildren and now also great-grandchildren! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Billie says:

    Thank you for adding my post to yours! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Madhu says:

    I almost went into depression when my daughter left home. Going back to work – I had taken a year long sabbatical when she got engaged – was the best decision of my life, kept me too busy to sit around moping. Now my husband & I enjoy being just the two of us again 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Lucid Gypsy says:

    I prepared myself well for my children leaving home and mostly its okay but now that my daughter is pregnant with her first and lives 3 plus hours away it’s killing me!


  13. frizztext says:

    one of our daughters is pregnant again, the other just on holidays – one 600 km distance, the other 1,200 km – too expensive for car, train, plane – but we have mobile phone and: SKYPE for our travelling souls …


  14. Jojit S Las says:

    We used to be around twelve people in our house at one point. Perhaps even more. Now it’s just me in the very same house. My sibings keep telling me to sell it and move to a new place. I will never sell the repository of our memories; Nor will I change or renovate certain portions of it which have remained as it was since the very first time I laid eyes upon them as a child


  15. snati001 says:

    Very nice post. I moved out of my parent’s house about five years ago, but I still visit once a month so I am happy that I get to visit often. I even call them every day, LOL.


  16. says:

    I love this post, I am finally reaching that point with my daughter too.


    • likeitiz says:

      I believe we evolve into these states. And then, we move on to the next. And the next. I wrote about it last year. I think it was the first time I was comfortable about it. Glad to hear we are kindred spirits.


  17. TammyeHoney says:

    Once the grand children begin to arrive, you will wonder how that room was ever big enough, mostly to fill all the love that you will feel flowing. Thank you for sharing with your readers and for the reference to my article.


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