Gloomy but Beauty (Photo credit: Ehsan Khakbaz)
I feel a deep sorrow buried deep in the corners and crevices of my chest. It has crept into the recesses of my mind, filling the corridors of memories with caerulean gloom and settled there. I cannot shake it off no matter how much I try to distract myself. Not even the silly grin from our golden lab as he barrels through the hallway and plants himself at my feet, between my arms and right in front of my face, panting. I wrap my arms around his thick neck. I bury my head on his nape. Tomorrow is another day.
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By this time, I hope you feel much better, happiness is really elusive, there’s this see saw of elation and sadness. Four years ago I got the intense depression like nothing matter, it dragged for many months, I cried at work, sometimes at super market, we have a gun but it’s hidden from me, I once thought of buying one, glad I do not know where. I guess the superior one made me realized my own frailty that’s why it happened. Desperate and helpless…. I bended my knees, talked to the highest my mother said can hear me anytime and asked for help and guidance and promised to trust Him. Slowly I conquered my madness.( I avoided taking any medication prescribe to sooth the nerves ) I believed there’s a master potter, trying to make a porcelain out of us. He knows the timing when to subject one in an intense heat. All heroes of the Bible has their ups and down (none mention about Enoch, I believed he has one too) for us to realize that sanctification is a work of a lifetime. (apology if that’s more than 100 words)
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I’m relieved to read you have gone to the deepest of deep and have slowly come up for air. It looks like you have found where to find solace. Happy for you. Yes, we should all help one another see that there is always another day that comes and gives us a chance to make things right, make things better.
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Wow. I see these 100 words every now & then here & there, but I’ve got to say, you evoked a lot of feeling in that short breadth of time. Also, I have never heard of caerulean – so you’ve taught me a word for today, something I had to look up.
This, I can deeply feel. It is like the depressions I have described in my own blog – especially when you say your gorgeous lab bounds up & plonks himself in front of you …. nothing works, & you can’t explain what you feel, & you feel it so throbbingly. If this happens to you too, like it did to me (I am now on medication), I most sincerely sincerely send you some love. I was always ‘tomorrow is another day’ & holding out hope tomorrow I’d feel better.
Wow, this truly reaches me. Excelletn.
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Intense! In a way, I felt heaviness in my chest too as I felt the sadness, the longings, the hope in the words, in the story that followed. I pray that tomorrow would indeed be better, brighter, much happier for you and your love ones….We all deserve our happiness my friend and I wish that yours will be forever…take care.
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Thank you! Not so sure about happiness being forever. I suppose we all strive for that. It do we strive for contentment? I’m not sure if we are capable of prolonged happiness in this lifetime.
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100 beautiful words, but full of so much sadness and pain. Like lidipiri I want to know more. Seems almost like no hope is left. Except tomorrow is another day – and there lies the hope. May it be a day full of hope.
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Sometimes, I just want to pack it in, give up, walk away. But I have always believed that no matter how dark things get, tomorrow will always come and it is always another opportunity to do better and make things right.
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I’m so sorry 😦
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100 words that make me want to know what is wrong. 100 words that make me want to console, to fix, to aid in a better day for you tomorrow.
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