On a cold and windy evening last March 25, 2011, four women gathered at Il Fornaio. The mood was somber in spite of the warm welcomes and friendly anecdotes about family and friends. They were old friends from way back in high school days. They each had their families and their careers in different parts of the world. But they came together that night to plan out how to help a dear friend, perhaps for the last time.
“We need to be firm with her,” one said. “We can’t let her manipulate the discussions on her care to cater to her need to control or feed into her fears. It’s crippling her and getting in the way of proper medical treatment. She’s also alienating a lot of important people.”
“I just came from bringing her to Scottsdale. She did not like how she was transported there at all. The medical team had to abide by international travel laws. But of course, she did not want to consider that. Sigh! At least we got her there safely.”
We all resolved to have one voice, one that is strong, firm, but kind and compassionate and patient. We needed to find ways for her to get the necessary investigations and treatment. But we all acknowledged that the outlook is bleak for any recovery. The only recourse is to help her on her road to acceptance and hopefully, reconciliation with her family. In this way, she can have her final days in peace.
Because we care about her. Because we care about the family she will be leaving behind.